Thou Shalt Not What? II
Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen
"I used to have a beautiful house, a new car and a woman who thought the world of me. Now it's all gone." "What happened?" "My wife found out."
Just when you think you're safe, Lover Boy or Girl calls your home. He / she tells your spouse about your dalliance in the hopes of moving you along towards a divorce. Your spouse meets one of your co-workers in the store, and is told, "no, we haven't been working longer hours." Your neighbor sees your car in a strange place and asks your spouse about it. You and lover girl / boy have gone to a quiet little restaurant where nobody knows you, except for your minister who happens to walk in right after you've been seated.
The scenarios are endless, but the final point is that rarely can you be discrete enough to hide your unfaithfulness from your spouse. He / she is bound to find out. Bad news travels faster then the speed of ... a stolen kiss on a romantic summer night. Believe me, there are lots of people who love to play show and tell, no matter who gets hurt. There is at least one blabber mouth in everyone's life, and there is nothing this person likes better then being the center of attention. There is no better way to be the center of attention then to spread bad news. So, what happens next?
Your spouse will be angry. Your protestations that the other him / her doesn't mean anything to you aren't believed. You promise never to see the other man or woman again as long as you live. You even go so far as to tell him / her that you are going back to your spouse.
You and your spouse try to reconcile. However, he / she no longer trusts you. If you are a few minutes late, you must be cheating again. Your denials are fruitless, since you lied before. Any disagreement you have ends with the fact that you had an affair, can't be trusted, and were and are in the wrong. What happens next?
Your spouse makes an appointment with me or one of my colleagues. He / she isn't sure he / she wants a divorce, but it is probable that you do, or you wouldn't have been unfaithful in the first place. He / she is hurt and confused. He / she also wants to know what rights he / she has in the event your marriage ends.
Or:
You're the client. This not being able to go out for a walk without being suspected of more cheating is no kind of life. Your family and your spouse's family know what you did, and they treat you like a rat in the pantry. You know you deserve some punishment for what you did, but enough is enough. No one can live their lives under a microscope for long, and there is only so much you can do to make up for your past mistakes. You want to know your rights in case you decide to get divorced. Is there an alternative? Stay tuned.
About the Author:
Lucille Uttermohlen has been a family law attorney for 27 years. Her specialties include divorce, guardianship, adoption, paternity, probate and criminal law. For a free download about the divorce process, visit Lucille at http://www.couple-or-not.com